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Sexting is an activity that was invented by millennials when cellphones first came out. Sexting has historically been popular among teens and young adults. Some adults grow out of sexting as life gets busy and work becomes demanding. However, many adults today find sexting to be a great way to interact with another adult on an intimate level.

What’s the Difference Between Sexting and Cybersex?

Cybersex is when people engage in intimacy virtually online.

Cybersex includes video chats, exchanging videos, playing virtual sex games as well as text with the purpose of arousing each other through conversations.

The purpose of cybersex is to evoke a sexual response in the other person.

Sexting is one aspect of cybersex. In sexting people exchange erotic texts, intimate photos and videos.

How Sexting Works in Relationships

Many people are part of long distance relationships and use sexting as an alternative to in real life or IRL sex.

In the passed people would write each other love letters to convey their love and share deep feelings of affection through text.

Today, with the help of technology, people have found a way to express their sexual feelings through text.

Is sexting wrong?

In the same way in which it is not wrong for people to express their love for each other in letters or text and it is not wrong for people to have sex. It should not be wrong for people to express their sexual feelings through text either.

Society cannot police how people express their intimacy. Letters are private and so are SMSs.

Just like how it is no one’s business what two people do in private, it is no one’s business what two people or more say in private messages.

Sexting is a right protected by both privacy laws and sexual and reproductive laws.

How to Explore Sexting

The best way to start sexting is by asking your conversation partner if they would like to sext.

If your partner agrees to sext, you could start by asking them what they’re wearing or what they would do if you were there with them right now.

People in which sexting is a normal part of daily communication might send their partner surprise sexy messages.

Creative minded people tend to be better at sexting than others.

If you are shy and don’t know what to text your partner, you could ask your partner to do all the texting while you do something else with your hands.

You could also take turns in playing the lead.

The most important rule about sexting is that you don’t have to be perfect.

Safety advice and guidelines

Beware of kinks

Keep sexting vanilla and don’t pressure your partner into discussing kinks or roleplaying a fantasy you have never tried before or discussed prior.

Mind your language

Don’t use triggering language. Even though, sexting is a sexual activity, really vulgar language could trigger a bad response or make your partner feel uncomfortable. Refrain from using very sensational or pornographic language if it is outside of your mutual kink or the way you usually communicate with your partner.

Create and respect boundaries

Always discuss your kinks, fantasies and fetishes prior to engaging in any sexual role play, both virtually and in real life. You might also want to agree on soft and hard limits.

Don’t break the law

Make sure you only engage in sexting with adults over 18.

Respect privacy

Keep your text and that of your partner private. You wouldn’t want your ex partners to kiss and tell. By the same principles, don’t share any intimate footage of your partner or violate their privacy even after your relationship has ended.

Best apps for privacy

The best way to stay private is SMS messages. SMSes are protected by law.

Third party chat apps are not bound by constitutional laws to keep your privacy.

Always remember that apps like Facebook and WhatsApp exist only for profits and you are bound by their terms of use. They do not respect your privacy and cite having to hold onto your data in case of investigations. Like, how? How can you hold evidence when a crime hasn’t even been committed. Anyway… don’t trust Meta with your intimate and private correspondences.

SMS

SMS and not iMesssage because Apple could read that data.

Telegram

Use encrypted chat on Telegram. Don’t use your real name on Telegram so that if anyone wanted to collect their chat history with you, your real name wouldn’t appear.

Snapchat

Many adults use Snapchat to send disappearing nude photos and videos. Snapchat seems to be the only social media platform where adults are allowed to be adults. 

Kik

You don’t need a real number or email to use kik and lots of adults use kik to engage in casual sexting.

Discord

Use direct messages on Discord or private servers. Discord has been proven to be a great place for adults to hang out and meet other likeminded people without interferences by the platform.

Best online platforms to meet adults over 18 to sext with

Bear in mind that most adult porn sexting platforms that have a 99.99% guarantee that you will be chatting online to strangers over the age of 18 will charge you money. However, this is best way to sext.

Be courteous and polite to models and always pay them upfront and never haggle with them.

For many models and virtual reality users, sexting provides a full-time income and they dedicate at least minimum hours doing this job.

Here’s a list I recommend:

Pornhub

Only engage with verified model profiles because they have been vetted as being over 18 years.

Manyvids

Only verified 18 models are allowed to post content on manyvids.

Sextpanther

This is a very popular sexting platform in America.

OnlyFans

This platform needs no introduction, but there is no way to discover new talent on the platform directly. Besides that, all the big stars on their discovery page are way too busy to give anyone real genuine interaction and rely heavily on the use of virtual assistants.

A word from Gigsome

You have every right to engage in sexting. Don’t let anyone shame you even after the fact for engaging in sexting. If your nudes get leaked, remember that you are victim.

Don’t engage in revenge porn or leak pictures or videos of former sexting partners. Don’t misappropriate intellectual property or catfish models.

Models rely on the income from their content and copywriting.

Models need money and you need models.

Many of my former clients still miss me to this day.